And just like that, in the blink of an eye since my last post, I've been in my new position for two and a half months. For the most part, I'm loving it. I'm starting to get to know people, find my groove, all that good stuff...but there are a few things that I'm struggling with.
First, teen advisory groups...and really, just teens in general. I love our teens. They're great, and our TAG members have good ideas, but damn, it would be nice if TAG members would actually show up to the programs we plan! I've been trying to be open to their ideas and work with them to make programs what they want, but then the day of the program arrives, and not one TAG member is there. I guess I could just be happy that there are people coming and let it go that none of them are TAG members...bu what gives? I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Also, the teens who hang out in the library are, for the most part, super well-behaved, and all of them that I've interacted with are fantastic. I, however, am ludicrously awkward and can't help but feel like the doofy single parent in a sitcom every time I interact with them. I keep trying to remind myself that establishing relationships with them will take time, but sweet lord, if a magical pill exists that would make me less socially awkward, someone let me know so I can get my hands on it.
Next up, the stagnancy. Good god, the stagnancy. This could just be a problem with my particular library, but it seems like everything moves at a snail's pace and people are so complacent that nothing ever gets done. Our current layout isn't working, and ideally we'd be able to make x, y, and z changes but they aren't a possibility. Can we make some smaller changes instead? Of course not! Let's just leave it the unfunctional way it is instead because if we can't have the perfect scenario, we may as well just not fix anything. Need approval for something? You'll get it, but be sure to submit it at least six months in advance, because it's going to take forever for you to get a response, if you ever do. Everyone is unhappy with the way something is handled, but can we do it a different way? Sure, that would be a good idea, we can discuss that in our next staff meeting...you know, if we ever had staff meetings. I feel like everyone is looking to me to be the mover and the shaker, but yo, I'm one person and a brand new librarian at that...how much change am I supposed to single-handedly introduce?
Aaaaand finally, the cherry on top of my struggle bus, the sentence that is rapidly becoming my least favorite combination of words in the whole world: "when [former teen services librarian] worked here..." This may come as a startling newsflash to some of the staff members and customers at my branch, but I am not the former teen librarian. I get that he was super outgoing and played guitar with the teens and liked to go to the high school at lunch to hang out and meet new kids...that's super cool. But I'm crazy nerdy and don't know how to play the guitar and have raging social anxiety, so if you're waiting for me to go start an impromptu jam session with some high schoolers during their lunch break, you're going to be waiting for a verrrrrrry long time. If, on the other hand, you'd like to learn how to knit, are looking for a suggestion for your next supernatural read, or want to talk roller derby strategy with me, I am down for that! I'm more than willing to push myself out of my comfort zone, and I've been working on doing that, but every time the words "when [FTSL] was here" come out of someone's mouth, I die a little inside.
Anyway, the above griping aside, things really are going well. I had one instance of chicanery in the teen area during a passive program, but I put out some signs reminding everyone that if they want to have nice things they need to be respectful, and we haven't had any problems since. I've been working on slowly worming my way into the confidence of our teens in my own geeky, awkward way, and I'm doing all the research I can on young adult programming so I can bring interesting, helpful programs to them. Every job comes with its highs and lows but I think, all things considered, things are going to be alright.
